Kinsley the determined

Kinsley is my 10 1/2 month old daughter.  My youngest of three.  The last two weeks have been eventful for her.  She is learning to walk.  I watch her take a few steps and fall and she wants to get right up and try again.  She tries over and over all with a big grin on her face.  Her dedication amazes me.  Not the normal dedication of a baby learning to walk, but a child with a disability learning to walk.  With each step I see the difficulty she is having.  With every step my heart breaks for her.  But she keeps that smile on her face and keeps trying.  A few minutes after Kinsley was born Grant looked at me after examining his perfect daughter and told me she was missing a toe.  The nurses did not realize it, they were a little frantic after my whirlwind labor (that story will come later).  I looked at her foot and sure enough she had four toes, two of which are webbed together.  At first we thought that was it.  That the poor girl would be embarrassed of her toes and never wear flip flops.  But as she started to grow we started realizing that her her foot was much smaller in length and width, her leg was shorter, and the newest realization is that the ankle has some structural problems.  We were told that when she started walking we would see the extent of her problem.  Now she has started walking.  I sit in my house and want to laugh and cheer that she is overcoming her leg disability and walking so young, but I also want to cry every time I see how hard it is for her.  She has a hard time going straight.  A lot of side stepping and going in a circle.  Her little ankle rolls funny and gives out.  Yet she gets up with a smile and tries again.  Amazement.  I feel like if it was me I would sit on the floor and cry after the first time.  My Christian walk is the same way sometimes.  I try to live good and try to follow Gods laws, but over and over again I fall.  Sometimes I stay down for a while and wallow.  I want to be able to bounce right up with a smile and say "It's ok, I will just try harder this time".  I want to have the dedication of my baby.  I pure sincere smile.  To keep going and keep trying no matter what is thrown my way.